


come and get your love

by curiouslyfic



Category: Commercials - Fandom
Genre: M/M, Yuletide, challenge:Yuletide 2008, recipient:JediLora
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-25
Updated: 2008-12-25
Packaged: 2017-10-17 01:11:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/171317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/curiouslyfic/pseuds/curiouslyfic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Verizon and Alltel merge. Chad's not sure what to make of that. Paul's just out for what it says on the tin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	come and get your love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JediLora](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JediLora/gifts).



> Beta by wasuremono. This isn't our fandom match, but once I checked the canon, I couldn't resist.

Paul hates Chad. That's just what he does, like drinking coffee before 10 a.m. or thumbkeying in txt. Paul's boss hates Chad, too, which is decent of him, because when Paul gets the news, Paul's not really polite about it.

"We bought Alltel?" That's the last thing he says fit for prime time airing for what's probably minutes and minutes and daytime overage minutes. His boss just nods. Paul appreciates the silence, static-free and untested.

The rest of their conversation doesn't make the network at all. There's no point paying for subversive silence.

.

Paul hasn't met Chad. None of them have, though Paul's seen the commercials, and when Paul gets his hands on the marketing genius who cast "him", Paul plans to show his displeasure. Possibly through spam. Paul knows a little something about malicious forwards.

So no, they haven't met yet, but it's only a matter of time before they do.  
Spokesguy to spokesdude, they'll have no choice. Right like automatic billing, even if it sucks.

Paul can see the commercials now, him and Mr. Free Love comparing their phones. Paul's sure his will win--just like his Network, it's not even close--and Mr. Free Love can take all the time he wants playing with his Circle as long as he's quiet. Paul hates unnecessary discussion.

Paul's boss doesn't give him orders, exactly, but he knows he's supposed to be nice. Verizon, after all, is a family company that cares about range. He's hardly about to openly court enemies, even on his own turf.

.

Mr. Free Love looks worse in commercials than he does in real life. Paul's supposed to call him "Chad", which sounds suspiciously Mattel threesome. Paul would investigate that--hey, he's a curious kind of guy--but it _fits_. Chad is blond and man-boyishly pretty. Paul can work with that. Maybe. Chad smiles. It's almost sincere. It's definitely been surfing.

"Hey, you're the Verizon Guy," Chad says. Paul doesn't speak. He knows that's a trigger few can resist. Chad cups his ear. Exaggerates leaning and smirks, "I can't hear you now," with smarmy glee.

Paul mentally cracks his knuckles.

Chad looks 404: Page not found. "Do we need to do this by phone?" He actually frowns. "Because I'm not on your plan," Chad says, like that alone impedes conversation. They are not holding their phones. "And you're not in my Circle."

Paul waits. The motion, always motion, always forward of his days convinces most people he's got to move, that he'll be some kind of restless energy they'll feel when he's close. Corporate wanderlust isn't the same, but Chad's surprise buys Paul an advantage he desperately needs.

It's not every day he takes on a nemesis.

Chad's half :), half :(. Paul assumes he means :?. This is good.

Chad says, "It's nice to finally meet you," and sticks out a hand, slick like a salesman. Paul's not here to buy. He doesn't pass that on.

Chad says, "You looked different in the van." Paul doesn't explain. "And--hey!--I'm not a doodyhead."

Paul wonders what's become of one-on-one conversation. Perhaps it's a dying art. Maybe there should have been places they _couldn't_ hear him. It's a lot to take in. Chad scratches himself into a stumble Paul's not sure he ever wants choreographed for him, because hey, he still has to work with Free Love. Horrifying as that is.

Chad :D. Paul's tower takes note.

"I'm here for the love," Paul says, like he's still testing the network, because really, he is.

Chad :? again. Paul likes that, too.

.

"The _love_?" Chad's uncertain. The Verizon guys he's met have all been nice enough, almost friendly even when kicking him out, and he knows they can really synergize if they let themselves go, get past this whole silly rules thing the Big Three like so much. Only, and he could be wrong here, but he doesn't think Can You Hear Me Now has.

Can You Hear Me Now nods. Chad's starting to wonder if these Verizon guys ever smile or if maybe they have to give that up to the Network. That's a level of dogmatic devotion he'd rather ignore.

"No, really, I don't think I heard that," Chad says, because what else can he say? He tries again because he wants this to work. "I think we got our signals crossed."

Chad makes himself laugh. He's the only one who does.

Can You Hear Me Now has a thing for stalking and possibly crowds. Chad could have lived without remembering that just now.

"You're saying your network failed?" Can You Hear Me Now says, and okay, Chad got that part like Sprint's falling pin.

"We're not even on the phone." Chad wonders what Verizon does to its spokesdude if he needs to make that clear. There's something very Mac-PC about this Chad doesn't need, and it's not like he's trying to put Can You Hear Me Now in his Circle, he just thinks they could be friends. Them and Catharine, because it's tricky work, spokesduding phones, and he thinks maybe they could learn from each other. Maybe lean on each other. Maybe put the fear of restraining orders in Sprint.

"You can hear me," Can You Hear Me Now says, a dirty glint in his eye, and yeah, okay, maybe Chad can. He doesn't want to presume, though, because he's only just made friends with Verizon security.

.

"So, what's your plan?" Chad asks, lashes batting like an unbalanced tween. That's right on schedule, so Paul ticks it off. On to Phase Two.

"450 anytime smartphone minutes for $99.99," Paul says. "You can go unlimited for $50 more."

Chad's a keyboard short of a smartphone but Paul thinks he understands. "We have voice2TXT," Chad offers. Like that's the same. "For less than a Big Mac Meal, you can _read_ your voicemail. That's pretty cool, huh?"  
Paul maintains a healthy, happy :|, as God and Network intended.

"But how are you with PDAs?"

Chad turns a fetching shade of Network red. "500 anytime minutes plus My Circle 10 and unlimited web, $89.99," he counters.

Paul doesn't ask about Blackberries. No point confusing things.

.

Chad doesn't like the way Can You Hear Me Now's watching him. Okay, that's not true. Chad _shouldn't_ like the way Can You Hear Me Now is looking at him but honestly, Chad doesn't mind.

Chad really needs to focus on cell phones before he does something dumb.

"Free activation," Chad says, and Can You Hear Me Now eyefucks him dirty, says, "Yeah, I'll bet."

That's a Verizon red flag if Chad's ever heard one.

"What's it to you? Can't we all just get along? I mean, now that we're _married_ and all..." Chad lifts helpless hands.

Can You Hear Me Now rolls his eyes. "We're not married, Circle Boy."

"The merger? Didn't anyone fill you in?" He should stop here, leave well enough alone, because who's he to judge corporate communications in-house for some other spokesdude's company? Still, Chad's feeling naughty. "I know you called."

"Oh, they told me," Can You Hear Me Now says, voice low and rough. It sounds almost obscene. "But for the record, I do the filling."

Chad chokes on his own spit.

"Aren't you asking whether they can still hear you?" Chad asks because obviously Chad has no sense, Chad needs to back up out of this room before it gets nuts. Pretty clear from the overcharged battery heat in those eyes that nuts is totally possible. "Because, you know, that's still information you need that they have to give you. You're not very good on clarity, are you?"

"And you're evidently weak at sharing the love. Is that a corporate failing?"

"What are you saying?" He doesn't want to trust those eyes, which are probably full of junior high capitalists hoarding the lemonade, but Chad's pretty sure he is totally Hearing Him Now. Which is surprising, to put it mildly, and alarming-crazy-hot in straight block-thought PR.

.

Phase Three, Paul thinks, and says, "Well, aren't you a kilobyte short of a plan?"

Chad turns an iPod array of colours.

"We bought you," Paul says. "We own you."

"Only if it's all right with the FTC."

Paul makes his advance, cuffing Chad's wrists in his hands and walking him back towards the desk, the same steady pace he knows so well, not stopping until Chad's thighs hit wood in multinational faux-Ikea laminate.

"It seems this calls for a little Head to Head."

Chad swallows. Stays quiet, though, so that's something.

"We can do that, can't we? Bridge the gaps between our distinctive corporate monocultures?" Paul plays coy with a tilt of his head. "You've got the social networking angle, we've got the PDAs. I bet that gets interesting."

.

It does. Twice, once with teeth, Jesus, it gets off-Network interesting, and if he'd had any idea, any at all, there was this sort of focus involved in that testing, Chad would have grabbed his stalker ages again, to hell with the Alltel cam.

.

Being owned by Verizon may not be bad--for what it's worth, Chad's convinced. He's sweaty, they both are, and Can You Hear Me Now's totally proved that yeah, the Big Bad's totally always working for you. Still and all, Chad has his happy-go-lucky to maintain and now he's worried he'll, like, have a reputation on the spokesdude circuit for being easy or whatever.

"Look, if this is about that thing on YouTube, I don't know that kid," he says and he does not touch the spot Can You Hear Me Now's sucked damp and tender because that would be lame.

"Unauthorized social networking? Tsk, tsk."

"No. He just...he found me, all right?"

Can You Hear Me Now's eyes narrow. "We'll get the Network on it."

Then, oh Jesus, then Can You Hear Me gets possessive, licks things that sound like they want to be "hate you, asshole, perky smiling fucker," into his ear and yeah, Chad's cool as the Yukon with how this turned out.

"I should have played nicer with those guys in the van," Chad says, somewhat awed, once he's out of Can You Hear Me Now's hands and doing up his pants again. Verizon's pretty hands-on, really.

"Wouldn't have mattered," Can Your Hear Me Now says, pragmatic as ever. Chad's seen those spots and now, damn it, he's pretty sure every time he sees them, he's going to want to be there, maybe dragging his tester behind a bush. "I'm not him."

"Tell me something I don't know."

"My name's Paul?"

.

The first number in Chad's Circle will always be his mom. The second? Has been Paul for two consecutive contract renewals.

  



End file.
